Feat. Gorod, Mastodon, Exumer, Electric Callboy, Russian Circles et al.

Kinda like Metallica's "ReLoad", only written by a self-righteous sex offender

Feat. Psycroptic, DevilDriver, Moonspell, The Hu, Five Finger Death Punch et al.

Other working titles allegedly include "Plop!", "Kapow!", and "Klugga-foom!"

Feat. Fleshcrawl, Warning, Tarja, Blood Incantation, August Burns Red, et al.

Feat. Elder, Devin Townsend, Acid Reign, Darkthrone, Venom, Sevendust, et al.

Not to be confused with the underrated 1973 Styx album "The Serpent is Rising"

Feat. Immolation, Foo Fighters, Six Feet Under, Sunn0))), Crimson Glory, Nervosa, et al.

Half album review, half eulogy for a fallen metal warrior

It's not "Too Fast For Love", but it's still pretty tight.

Alternative title: "Good God / Baad Album"

Feat. Temple of Void, Lamb of God, Winterfylleth, Vreid, Angus McSix, et al.

When there's not a lot left to prove

… And this year's "Out-of-Left-Fielder" award goes to…

"Unless one counts level good-but-not-great as filler..."

Truest metal album and most tattooable cover art this year so far

Feat. Rob Zombie, Puscifer, Mayhem, Clawfinger, et al.

Half album review, half essay about being fed up with political bullshit

Feat. Bullet, Invictus, Helix, et al.

More like "Meh-gadeth", amirite guys??

During the review of which, I quote Phoebe from "Friends"

So, probably don't read that book or you'll hella bleed out your crotch

"This, right here, in a nutshell, is the reason that we love metal"

Completing Hitchcock's avian doomsday vision outta left field

You know it's gonna be good when they put a swan on the cover

... And one fine ascension it is

And in the category of "Most Difficult Album to Have Sex to"...

It's official: The breakdown is the bass drop of metal

Half album review, half lamentation of music's current state

Giants and monsters and pumpkins, oh my!