Steel Panther – "On the Prowl"
It's official: They survived themselves
When Steel Panther came out with "Feel the Steel" in 2008, it was a much-needed breath of fresh air on a global metal scene flooded with stale jock-core and an all-round lack of interesting releases outside of the marginal subgenres. Granted, nobody exactly expected them to revolutionize anything, but oftentimes, less does it.
... And it totally did do it. With their combination of excellent musicianship, irresistable hooks, and loveably hilarious lyrics, those songs were just what we needed at the time. And like with a lot of other bands, the rest of the band's career largely carries its justification in and by that one debut album.
But as with most jokes, you can only hear it so many times before it gets old. Enter, SP's latest album...
In a nutshell, the main issue here is that SP are trying too hard and giving away too much. Even if you'd never heard the band before, titles like "Magical Vagina", "Pornstar", and opener "Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)" tell you everything up front: It's gonna be deliberately vulgar and infantile, and it's not gonna stop until after the last song.
Apart from the difference in genre, Steel Panther aren't making any jokes here that Bloodhound Gang didn't make in a funnier way +20 years ago.
And even aforementioned opener kicks things off in a musically awkward direction, with its flat production, low guitar volume, uninspired riffs, and sections that sound like they might as well have been randomly put together. But first and foremost, those sex jokes simply aren't as funny as they were back then.
The album does pick up a bit with especially the downright heavy metal "Teleporter", in which you don't notice any lame lyrics, if any. And "1987" – a tribute to a great year for hard rock and heavy metal music – almost becomes a bit touching in all its straightforward, heartfelt worship.
And of course, being an experienced band with a long established flair for crafting catchy tunes, SP do manage to write choruses that'll get stuck in your head after a coupla spins. Needless to say, a lot of the material here hella rocks. I mean, duh.
But the problem remains: Those goofy lyrics are simply too goofy and repetitive. And this is coming from a guy who does like even downright silly music – like, say, Primus, Tenacious D, and Mr. Bungle – and who kept hanging on to SP as others fell off one by one as they started having had one too many dick jokes.
Titles like "Magical Vagina", "Pornstar", and opener "Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)" tell you everything up front: It's gonna be deliberately vulgar and infantile, and it's not gonna stop until after the last song.
But apart from the difference in genre, SP aren't making any dick jokes here that Bloodhound Gang didn't make in a funnier way +20 years ago. And today, they've gotten as stale as those initially mentioned jock-core bands. And shit, there's even no consistency among said jokes: In "All That and More", vocalist Michael Starr brags about the many superb qualities of his male unit ("My dick is all that and more"), but only two songs earlier, "Is My Dick Enough?" is about the exact opposite.
And while a line like "I've seen baby carrots with more circumference" did kinda make me blow air out through my nostrils in something resembling laughter, it would really suit the band of they made up their goddamn minds already. Michael Starr: What exactly is it about that schlong of yours? Is it big or small? And in fact, my should I care at this point??
The best SP song is and will likely always be "Eyes of a Panther", for the exact reason that, apart from being hella well written, you can actually take it seriously. And something else that'd suit the band would be to do exactly that: take themselves seriously. Just a bit more. Because if they did, they might still have their best album in them – and not the opposite, like this time around.
Rating: 2 out of 6
Genre: Hard rock / heavy metal
Release date: 24/2/2023
Label: Self-released
Producer: Jay Ruston, supposedly