Ozzy – "Patient Number 9"
All else being equal, he's still with us
Much like with the former release from Machine Head, I didn't bother with Ozzy's last album, "Ordinary Man" (2020), due to its poor reception. However, on this, his 13th full-length studio effort, the critique seems considerably more favorable. Well, I guess we'll see about that...
Like I've mentioned before, the most remarkable feature of the album is the long, star-studded list of collaborations by Ozzy's long-time friends and current and former bandmates. And like I've already hinted about the opening title track, it's kinda underwhelming.
However, Jeff Beck does deliver some interesting solos on it – the combination of his sharp tone and sloppy delta blues phrases being something entirely new in Ozzy's music. He also does some cool pre-bends and intense vibratos in "A Thousand Shades". But the problem remains: The song is okay, but in no way thrilling or very memorable.
"Immortal" packs some much-needed punch, and it features a wicked solo from Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready, with a gnarly tone and some sick shredding. Also Guns n' Roses bassist Duff McKagan lays down some hella cool fills here, as in "One of Those Days" which features none other than Eric Clapton. Sadly, though, Slowhand's ultra-compact tone feels a bit forced on the otherwise big production, and his solo is too slow and sad to lift another mid-tempo standard-rock tunes above level 'Acceptable'.
There are some cool contributions from Mr. Heavy Metal himself, though. Tony Iommi delivers a heavy apocalypse riff over an equally heavy 1-and-3 beat in "Degradation Rules"; its chorus featuring some jazzy fills from Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith that sound like a deliberate Bill Ward approach. And while Iommi's verse figure in "No Escape From Now" does sound pretty standard even for him, the uptempo shuffle and his pentatonic blues solo in its C-part is pure early '70s Sabbath. Nice one.
All the brilliant performances and melodies here aren't enough to compensate for the fact that "Patient Number 9" is, by and large, a collection of mid-tempo, mid-energy, mid-relistenability standard hard rock coated with some heavy metal elements.
Curiously, Zakk Wylde and recently deceased Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins (R.I.P.!) are featured on a coupla tracks together, with Hawkins playing double-time in the choruses of both, again providing some much-needed energy to an otherwise mid-tempo based album.
Wylde lifts two songs beyond level 'Acceptable': The intro of "Evil Shuffle" sounds like "War Pigs", and his start/stop riff in the verse sounds like something by a modern stoner band, which is a cool stand-out. His solo in "Nothing Feels Right" has those wicked powerful bends and that killer tone and shredding which made him a name with both the Ozz and Black Label Society back in the day.
Oh, and speaking of the main character himself, the aforementioned track not only has one of the album's most memorable melodies, but it showcases better than most tracks how even at age 73, Ozzy actually sings good. And I mean on a level that can't possibly all be ascribed to supposedly otherwise advanced studio technology. Having seen him live on his off-days, his solid vocal delivery on this album is more than a welcome reassurance.
Ozzy himself plays too small of a part in this endeavor. And as well as he does sing even at his age, I'm not hearing a whole lot of that trademark madness and attitude here that's inseperably associated with the name Ozzy Osbourne.
However, as you might gather at this point, all the brilliantly-executed performances and decent melodies here aren't enough to compensate for the fact that "Patient Number 9" is, by and large, a collection of mid-tempo, mid-energy, mid-relistenability standard hard rock coated with some heavy metal elements. No matter how you frame it; no matter what reasonings and justifications you throw around, this is just not enough.
Yes, I know I just mentioned that Ozzy is 73 years old. Yes, I know we should be happy that he's still alive and breathing in the first place – and trust me, I am. But if you wanna release a heavy metal album, it kinda needs to be energetic in order to qualify for the category. And in any case, the Madman himself plays too small of a part in this endeavor. And as well as he does sing even at his age, I'm not hearing a whole lot of that trademark madness and attitude that's inseperably associated with the name Ozzy Osbourne.
To repeat myself, don't get me wrong: I'm grateful to still have The Ozz around to walk the same planet as I do. And I'll probably be seeing him next year with Judas fucking Priest supporting. When it comes to his newer studio albums, however, their main functions seem to be A) Ozzy having a nice time in the studio with old friends, and B) a vehicle to justify playing some live shows.
Those things, I appreciate.
Rating: 3 out of 6
Genre: Hard rock / heavy metal
Release date: 9/9/2022
Label: Sony Music
Producer: Andrew Watt