Málaga, Spain

2022-04-13

Unofficial capital of Europe's unofficial California

This is a big one for me, since I've lived in the damn place for four years. Several factors got me there:

1) The climate. There's a reason it's called the Costa del Sol: You get +300 days of sunshine per year; the wind is mild; and there are even only very few clouds. So most of the time, you got nice, warm days with a light breeze, and the sun shining from a bright, blue sky. Fucking perfect.

View of Málaga on a typical day. – In December.
View of Málaga on a typical day. – In December.

2) The cost of living. Even for Spain, and even though prices have gone up during the last 15 years, Málaga seems relatively cheap. A small apartment in or near the city center will set you back around €600 per month depending on your needs, and a pint of beer when you're out partying will set you back around €3.

A bunch of tapas like this'll set you back around €10 to €15, depending on how tourist-y you want it.
A bunch of tapas like this'll set you back around €10 to €15, depending on how tourist-y you want it.

3) The airfare. There are several daily planes between Málaga and Copenhagen – and, for that matter, several other big international cities. And prices are more than (air)fair. Outside of season, I've gotten return tickets for less than €50.

Depending on the route and the time of day, you'll sometimes see Sierra Nevada from above. (The Spanish one.)
Depending on the route and the time of day, you'll sometimes see Sierra Nevada from above. (The Spanish one.)
4) The coast. A big-city boy at heart, I'd have preferred Málaga to be the size of Madrid or Barcelona. However, Madrid is inland, and while Barcelona does have a coast, the weather there is allegedly nowhere near as awesome as it is in Málaga. And since Málaga's the biggest town on the Costa del Sol – and since Valencia, while bigger, doesn't have anywhere near as cheap plane tickets to Copenhagen – I chose Málaga.
Here's what that coast looks like. – In February.
Here's what that coast looks like. – In February.

But why the coast? Well, apart from obviously being a neat swimming option from around April/May to September/October (depending on your tolerance for water temperature level), the coast has the added bonus of cooling the area so it doesn't get completely scorching like the inland cities. While Seville easily gets to +40°C during high summer, this only happens rarely in Málaga.

I could name several places to meet people and get your party on, but I'll stick with the most important ones.

First and foremost, you got Bar Lemmy. A good example of "the name says it all", Bar Lemmy is a hard rock and metal bar located near the heart of Málaga. It's not very big, but it gets packed with friendly people who often come from other countries as well, and it's always a good time.

Bit of interior decoration.
Bit of interior decoration.
Ditto. Notice the liberal use of Jackie D. bottles – the late, great maestro himself would've wanted it that way.
Ditto. Notice the liberal use of Jackie D. bottles – the late, great maestro himself would've wanted it that way.

The staff aren't all very well-versed in English, but they pretty much have what you need in terms of beer and booze, and they play classic stuff like Maiden, Motörhead (duh), AC/DC, Thin Lizzy, Manowar, Hellacopters, and Dropkick Murphys. Also, unlike most other bars that close at midnight, they're open until 3 or 4 am, so you don't have to go to an expensive, shitty nightclub and be force-fed shitty reggaeton (pleonasm) just because you wanna keep partying.

(There's also a decent place further down south called Classic Rock Bar, but this is one of those that close at midnight.)

If you're a boardgamer, you're gonna like Play Planet. Also located in the center (everything important pretty much is), it's got a world of games at your disposal, many of which are in English for those who don't read Spanish.

Just outside frame: Me, whooping everyone's sorry ass in Stone Age.
Just outside frame: Me, whooping everyone's sorry ass in Stone Age.

You're also welcome to bring your own games; in any case, the owner just expects you to buy some refreshments. By the way, he speaks good English; he knows every damn game, and he's very helpful in explaining the rules. Also, he's a fellow metalhead.

Pictured: Everyone getting our sorry asses whooped in Sub Terra.
Pictured: Everyone getting our sorry asses whooped in Sub Terra.

There's this board game meetup group you should totally join if you're in town and wanna play some games and meet cool people. Always a great time.

In fact, one cool thing about Málaga is all the meetup groups. Again, I could name several, but another one through which I've had several rad nights out and met tons of new people is this one, which holds weekly international meetups, language exchanges, and beach volley matches.

As for concerts, there aren't a whole lot. Of course, half of the time I lived there, COVID ruled the world, so that kinda put a pin in that whole deal as well. And before COVID, I was working like a motherfucker establishing my career, so I had to de-prioritize most of the shows that were there.

Krypticy – Spain's best death metal band?
Krypticy – Spain's best death metal band?

Also, concerts aren't very well promoted, either online or IRL. Mostly, I learned about shows by randomly passing posters on the street – in some cases after they'd taken place. For example, I only learned on the second day of the festival that last year's Metal Paradise down in Fuengirola actually took place in spite of COVID.

In addition, not everyone are earning enough to afford the price of a concert ticket in this day and age, so it's not profitable for a lot of foreign bands to come and play there. So most shows are either minor local bands and/or local tribute bands.

I did see a melodic death metal band from Villareal called Red Soil; they were pretty good. Also, I attended the one-day metal festival Algarroba Rock a bit up the coast where especially routined thrashers Angelus Apatrida and brutal death metal outfit Krypticy blew me away.

If you're into street art, you can't miss the Lagunillas hood. Pretty much looks like this everywhere.
If you're into street art, you can't miss the Lagunillas hood. Pretty much looks like this everywhere.
Harbor sunset and Christmas market stands.
Harbor sunset and Christmas market stands.

Of course, like the concert issue, there are outright downsides to Málaga. While the local people are generally very friendly and helpful, they're also generally not very good at English. I'd say maybe 2 out of 10 locals would be able to have a stimulating conversation in English.

Add to this that the Andalusian dialect is a borderline-indecipherable, mumbling mockery of everything that might make Spanish a great language, even omitting s'es in words so the grammar gets messed up. So even if you know Spanish, you might have to ask people to fucking enunciate, please.

Furthermore, the entire region is very chill about pretty much anything and everything. Half of the stores close down from around 1 or 2 pm to around 5 or 6 pm, and don't expect a store to actually open at its announced opening hour. In fact, don't expect workers to do their jobs properly, and don't expect the locals to be on time. If you wanna meet with a local, schedule it 15-30 minutes in advance.

And it goes back a long way. Back in the day, local workers didn't even bother finishing the town's damn cathedral. Here's the tower they actually went about finishing.
And it goes back a long way. Back in the day, local workers didn't even bother finishing the town's damn cathedral. Here's the tower they actually went about finishing.
Main street with Christmas decorations. Which, by the way, get put up sometime in October and taken down sometime in February.
Main street with Christmas decorations. Which, by the way, get put up sometime in October and taken down sometime in February.

Apart from that, it does get hot during July and August. As I usually say, there are 2 seasons on the Costa del Sol:

  1. Summer, and
  2. Extreme summer

It's not so much because of the temperature, it's also the coastal humidity, and the fact that there's rarely much wind. But since this period is where plane tickets are the most expensive anyway, I'd recommend going in spring, fall, or winter. Just maybe avoid Easter week since the town is overrun with miles of wacky religious processions (pleonasm again).

Anyway, if you haven't guessed the answer already, is Málaga still worth a visit regardless of any downsides?

Totally, dude. I have yet to find the first person who went to Málaga and didn't love it. And as much as I enjoy being able to travel the world, I miss Bar Lemmy; I miss the board game nights, and I miss all the good people I've met and befriended during my time there.

Hang fire, my precious Andalusian pearl: I will be back.