Jordan

2022-06-11

Hope you like getting milked for cash!

They say that Jordan is one of the more open-minded countries in the Middle East. I had no idea of that before booking my trip, to be honest. Like in other cases, what got me there was a combination of good COVID stats, cheap airfare and AirBnb, and, of course, the fact that I'd never been there before.

My first impression of the capital, Amman, where I spent the majority of my time there, is that it's hella big, and that the city centre's kinda messy. Not necessarily in a bad way, though: It has an undeniable Middle Eastern charm with all its indoor bazar areas selling fruit, spices, toys, and accessories, and the sidewalk shops selling clothes, jewelry, souvenirs, slush-ice, and shawerma. (Not 'shawarma'; the original Arabic spelling is with an 'e'.)

The traffic is pretty anarchic, which goes for not only downtown, but the city and country as a whole. There are practically zero junctions, traffic lights, or road markings. You wanna cross the street, you gotta get in touch with your death-defying side. Never got used to that. But somehow everyone makes it work without getting hurt.

Big-ass Roman amphitheater in the middle of the capital. I never bothered trying to get in, seeing as how they're charging money for it. – And here starts a pattern.
Big-ass Roman amphitheater in the middle of the capital. I never bothered trying to get in, seeing as how they're charging money for it. – And here starts a pattern.
Indoor bazar – pretty much like you'd imagine, actually.
Indoor bazar – pretty much like you'd imagine, actually.
Anyway, the city centre is pretty dirty, and you'll see a lot of garbage lying around – also in other areas. Renovation is definitely not up to par; there's no waste separation, either. But apart from that, the place does have its charm. 9 out of 10 buildings have that same, bright sandy brown color, giving it that distinct Middle Eastern look. And five times a day, the local imam from the local mosque will be singing out his prayers in strangely inciting tonal keys for all to hear.


Occasionally, you'll even see people actively engaging in prayer, bowing down towards Mecca, that whole deal. For someone who's used to the watered-down Danish coffee-club version of Protestantim which pretty much only sticks around due to tradition, this is something different, alright.

I mean, you can say what you want about religious indoctrination, but at least down here they take their religion seriously. Of course, in the ideal world, there'd be no organized superstition, and what you'd be hearing from those mosques five times a day would be AC/DC and ZZ Top tunes. Hey, by the way, that's a brilliant fucking idea.

Live animal markets are a thing, and the merchants give ZERO shits about animal welfare. The worst thing was those spray-painted chickens, which, according to our tour guide, is done "for fun". Yeah, real fucking hilarious.
Live animal markets are a thing, and the merchants give ZERO shits about animal welfare. The worst thing was those spray-painted chickens, which, according to our tour guide, is done "for fun". Yeah, real fucking hilarious.
Flat bread, tuna, and a cucumber – a Muslim hot dog!
Flat bread, tuna, and a cucumber – a Muslim hot dog!
Anyway, my one big, fat problem with Jordan is the aggressive merchant culture. In fact, a lot of people's behavior in that regard ruined a big part of my experience there, and it was especially evident in Petra.


From the moment you exit the bus, taxi drivers are all up in your grill. When you get inside to the visitor's centre, the souvenir sellers and café staff are bidding you an opportunistically warm welcome, calling you their "friend", telling you what things they're selling, how much they're charging, and asking you to take your time when looking around their fantastic store. You've hardly even gotten your goddamn entrance ticket yet.

Fucking bizarre. And it only gets worse from then on. Even before getting to the Siq, which is the entrance path to the treasury, people will be trying to sell you postcards, bottled water, and guided trips up a mountain side. The latter especially when you finally get to the treasury, even though there's a huge sign outside telling tourists NOT to buy those trips because, popularly speaking, everyone's free to get around as they please without having to pay anyone extra.

Half of those people are there to see one of the seven wonders of the world. The other half will be approaching you and try to sell you shit.
Half of those people are there to see one of the seven wonders of the world. The other half will be approaching you and try to sell you shit.
Not pictured: The frustration of not being able to get here without being pitched the same crap tourist souvenirs every goddamn minute during a 45 minute walk.
Not pictured: The frustration of not being able to get here without being pitched the same crap tourist souvenirs every goddamn minute during a 45 minute walk.
After the treasury, you start walking into the actual place. And that's where the real test of your patience begins, along with the ever-fucking-present souvenir stands, cafés, and donkey drivers. It's especially bad in the central area and on the way up to the monastery. But even on hillsides, there are merchants who may or may not have any sort of license, trying to sell you the same damn pieces of jewelry and fridge magnets, and even fucking rocks.


If you ever buy a goddamn rock in an area that's MADE of fucking rock, I will find you, and I will murder you. And if you're trying to squeeze money outta people who are trying to enjoy one of the seven wonders of the world, be ashamed. Because you're ruining it. Especially if you're literally selling the place rock by rock.

Seriously, I must've gotten approached somewhere between 60-70 times during that day. And similarly, when I went to Jerash and back, taxi drivers were over me like zombies, practically passing me on from one guy to the next. After that, I decided to not go anywhere else for the entire trip. People are seriously that obnoxious.

The congregation square in Jerash. Not as many local souvenir salespeople, but you'll be dealing with equally pestering and unprofessional taxi drivers getting there.
The congregation square in Jerash. Not as many local souvenir salespeople, but you'll be dealing with equally pestering and unprofessional taxi drivers getting there.
Another one of those Roman amphitheaters. Good thing I didn't pay anything for getting into that first one, huh?
Another one of those Roman amphitheaters. Good thing I didn't pay anything for getting into that first one, huh?
In fact, I'd compiled a list of examples of fine print level cash grab moves from staff and sellers in various instances, but just take my word for it: This whole place just plain squeezes you for cash.


On the plus sides, the locals are friendly. And the Wadi Rum desert is definitely a place to check out. The rock formations are magnificent, and there's a silence unlike any silence you'll find anywhere but deserts and mountains. Plus, the tour packages contain a lot of cool things. You'll be sleeping in huts in bedouin camps, dining and having tea with bedouins, riding camels, sitting on the back of a pickup van driving through the desert, and possibly meeting travelers from all over the world. I did all of that, and then some. Awesome fucking experience.

If you think it looks like something outta The Martian or that new Dune movie, you'd be right: They were filmed here.
If you think it looks like something outta The Martian or that new Dune movie, you'd be right: They were filmed here.
One of the views from which I experienced most of Wadi Rum: Sitting on a pickup. Hella rad way of getting around.
One of the views from which I experienced most of Wadi Rum: Sitting on a pickup. Hella rad way of getting around.
A considerably less efficient way of getting around, but I had to try it. The camel's name was Obama, by the way.
A considerably less efficient way of getting around, but I had to try it. The camel's name was Obama, by the way.
One of the camps in which I spent one of three nights. Needless to say, the picture doesn't anywhere nearly do it justice. Gotta be there.
One of the camps in which I spent one of three nights. Needless to say, the picture doesn't anywhere nearly do it justice. Gotta be there.
As for the hard rock and metal scene, it's practically non-existent. From what I gather, it's apparently kinduva knee-jerk reaction for Muslims to consider heavy metal "Satanic" and "evil" and all that. There are literally ZERO record stores. (And that's coming from a guy who rarely uses the word 'literally' because all you fucknuts keep using it redundantly.)


Yeah, and you're probably not gonna find any shows, either. However, there's one place called Murphy's House of Rock that plays stuff like Zeppelin, Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Soul Asylum, The Police, Aerosmith, U2, and other classic rock. Best thing you'll get down there, bar-wise.

Bit of interior decoration from Murphy's.
Bit of interior decoration from Murphy's.
1 "Cobain's Club" sandwich and fries: Around €10. 1 passable beer: Around €6. Holy shit.
1 "Cobain's Club" sandwich and fries: Around €10. 1 passable beer: Around €6. Holy shit.
Speaking of which: Beer – and alcohol in general – is insultingly expensive. Apart from maybe Norway and Sweden, Jordan is the most expensive place I've been when it comes to alcohol prices. That didn't prevent me from getting my buzz on, though: It turns out there are night clubs where you can bring your own bottle of booze for an entrance fee of 10 dinars. And perhaps not incidentally, those places are also swarming with girls that are very eager to talk to you and try to make you buy them drinks. Gotta wonder what their agenda might have been.


View from the Sheraton. And no, I didn't live there; it was an Internations event.
View from the Sheraton. And no, I didn't live there; it was an Internations event.
Some celebration at some night club. Intentionally, this picture is a bit blurry so as to reflect the state of my memory at that particular time.
Some celebration at some night club. Intentionally, this picture is a bit blurry so as to reflect the state of my memory at that particular time.
List of "cocktails" from The Doors Café – one local place named after the band, but only marginally music-themed. No alcohol in any of these, but it's the thought that counts.
List of "cocktails" from The Doors Café – one local place named after the band, but only marginally music-themed. No alcohol in any of these, but it's the thought that counts.
So... Is Jordan worth a visit?


I've already talked about this, but after having digested my experience a bit, I'm almost willing to revise my statement. I've never experienced so many opportunistic sellers, hidden fees, and downright obnoxiously pushy salesmanship. Again: Wadi Rum is an absolutely amazing place, but I'm not even sure it's worth visiting the country for, unless you're only there for a coupla days.

If you're one of those people who have Petra on their bucket list, I guess there's no way around it. The locals are really nice when they're not after your business, but when they are, don't take any of their crap – they WILL be hurling it at ya.

Not really sure what kind of branding this is supposed to be.
Not really sure what kind of branding this is supposed to be.
Ditto.
Ditto.
Share