Guns n' Roses @ Copenhell 2023

2023-06-23

LESS IS MORE.
LESS IS MORE.
LESS IS MORE.

When I saw Gu… I mean, when I saw Axl Rose and a bunch of other people who were legally playing in "Guns n' Roses" at the Roskilde Festival in 2006, I actually had a good time. Sure, they were an hour late. But that was just what you could expect from Axl, right?

And sure, he probably spent a good 1/3 of the show backstage changing costumes while those other dudes took turns soloing. But they did play 3/4 of the entire "Appetite…" album ('87). An unbeatable hard rock masterpiece. And also, "November Rain". So yeah, I had a good time.

And when Gu… I mean, when Axl and a bunch of people, some of whom may or may not have been on stage with him at aforementioned show, finally released "Chinese Democracy" two years later, "only" 17 years after the last G'n'R studio album, I actually thought it was interesting. Because I was expecting nothing at all.

Sure, the production was all over the place. And sure, it was nowhere near any other G'n'R studio album. But underneath all the chaos, there were some interesting ideas and solid melodies. And if nothing else, it serves as a unique historical document of rock'n'roll.

And when I finally got to see a – well, at least partially – reunited G'n'R in 2017, I also had a good time. At least predominantly. Sure, the band seemed like they'd rather be anywhere else and do anything but play that gig. And sure, they spent way too much time on both unimportant cover songs and "Chinese Democracy" songs. And just unessential songs. But there were classics. And it was as close to a reunion as we'd get.

But it stops right here. I am done defending G'n'R in whatever incarnation the band might've had since everyone but Axl left after he couped the rights to the band name in arguably one of the greatest dick moves in rock'n'roll history.

Granted, we're off to a fine start tonight with mandatory opener "It's So Easy". And the band, not the least Axl, are much more energetic and present compared to 6 years ago. But during "Live and Let Die", an otherwise phenomenal example of a cover song improving upon the original, one of two overshadowing problems rears its horrible head…

Axl Rose can't fucking sing.

To be a bit more nuanced, he just can't hit those pesky high notes. Somewhere around the 4th octave G, his voice can't decide if it's better to play it safe one octave deeper or to strain itself trying to hit the right note. So at least we're cool during "Bad Obsession" and a welcome "Pretty Tied Up" since those are in a lower vocal range.

But then the title track from "Chinese Democracy" shows a symptom of the second of those two aforementioned problems. Sure, there's probably no way around those songs as long as Axl's in the band (i.e., forever). But they're not why anyone's here – not even my old friends who are much bigger fans than I and who also appreciate "Chinese Democracy".

Another symptom of that second problem: Slash and Duff get to play "Slither". Yeah, remember that? From that old band of theirs after leaving Guns? Nice song. But also just filler.

You ever hear someone describing a voice, instrument, or song as "strangling a cat"? Yeah, I thought that was just a case of hyperbole turning into an aphorism. But at times, that's actually exactly what Axl sounds like tonigh-y-aiiiiight.

And it gets worse. "Coma", arguably the least interesting song from the first "… Illusion" album ('91), with its uninspired, drudging interchange between a major and a minor third, gets drawn out into more than 10 painstaking minutes of fucking filler. Even "Double Talkin' Jive" gets pummelled in drawn-out jam for some reason. As much as we all love Slash, we've also all heard him play one guitar solo too many by now.

At this point, it would take a lot to salvage things. So as that world-conquering opening delay riff of "Welcome to the Jungle" sets in, we concede the evening's biggest applause as a collective sight of relief…

… But then, that fucking tuneless yowl of Axl's. You ever hear someone describing a voice, instrument, or song as "strangling a cat"? Yeah, I thought that was just a case of hyperbole turning into an aphorism. But at times, that's actually exactly what the man sounds like tonigh-y-aiiiiight.

It's another bit of relief, then, that he doesn't have to strain himself as much during fellow classic "Mr. Brownstone". And so, the whole thing staggers between temporary relief and benefit-of-the-doubt on one hand, and chronic frustration on the other.

"Reckless Life", like many other G'n'R tunes, is cool, but not essential. Neither is "Hard Skool", although it is a nice little ditty in all its reminiscence of the band's glory days. And when it came out, it took away the attention from that godawful "Absurd" single they released earlier that year. Well, guess exactly what godawful single we're in for right now?!

Okay, I've damn well had it. I'm drunk and I'm starting to get pissed off. So I'm off to do anything but stand around and listen to Axl's cacophonous creaking and one unnecessary fucking filler track after the other.

So, not caring much for that shitshow on stage, I end up spending about an hour getting food. And all the while, said shitshow drags on and on. And on. And on. And while it does contain essentials, they're flanked by more fucking filler covers. Not the least of all, that boring-ass "Knockin' on Heaven's Door". And you just know that one's gonna be +10 minutes as well.

Nevertheless, I decide to head back and catch the rest of said shitshow. Around half of the audience has left by now. "Nightrain" closes the main set, and that would've been great if only the vocalist could actually sing. But, y'know…

And as Axl yammers his way through the first encore, which is fucking "Prostitute", the whole thing implodes in its own farcicality. Ultimately, G'n'R end up playing for more than three hours. Yes, three goddamn hours. I mean, at least their equally embarrassing colleagues in Mötley Crüe had the common decency to trim their set the fuck down this Wednesday.

I could say too many things here about quality over quantity. About common goddamn situational awareness. And about being able to actually sing one's own songs. But by now, any unwritten points should all be plain for anyone to see.

... Well, maybe plain to anyone but Axl.


Rating: 2 out of 6

Genre: Hard rock
Venue: Copenhell, Helvíti Stage
Date: Sat., 17/6/2023

Setlist:

  1. It's So Easy
  2. Bad Obsession
  3. Live and Let Die (Wings)
  4. Chinese Democracy
  5. Pretty Tied Up
  6. Slither (Velvet Revolver)
  7. Coma
  8. Double Talkin' Jive
  9. Welcome to the Jungle
  10. Mr. Brownstone
  11. Hard Skool
  12. Reckless Life
  13. Absurd
  14. Estranged
  15. Down on the Farm (UK Subs)
  16. Rocket Queen
  17. You Could Be Mine
  18. T.V. Eye (The Stooges)
  19. Anything Goes
  20. Civil War
  21. Sweet Child o' Mine
  22. November Rain
  23. Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Bob Dylan)
  24. Nightrain

    Encore:
  25. Prostitute
  26. Patience
  27. Paradise City