Grave Digger – "Bone Collector"
"Hallo, I am ze bone kollektoar; I haf komm to inspäkt your ekvipmänt, jaah?"
Disclaimer: My acquaintanceship with Grave Digger is limited to one of their first releases, a couple of their newer ones ("newer" as in from this century) and an uninspiring performance at Wacken 2010. In spite of an impressive back catalogue – and, you know, being metal and all – the band never managed to strike a chord with me.
Well, there is something called a case of better late than never. And since I'm being rhetorical about that all of a sudden, can anyone guess if this might be one such case right here?
Yes, the 22nd album from Grave Digger hella fucking rocks. In fact, so much so that yours truly might have let out a minor squeal of joy upon hearing its opening title track take off. This is not only thrash; this is the most real thrash I've heard in many years. The vocals are raw and chest-poundingly manly – much like those of Piet Sielck from the band's fine countrymen in Iron Savior – but the simple verse lines are as melodically catchy as possible without ever transgressing into anything remotely untrue. This music is written with the enthusiasm for metal that is usually the privilege of younger bands, but played with a blindingly admirable precision that can only be ascribed to +40 years of experience, and an energy as though the band were channeling otherworldly powers.
Oh yeah, speaking of that word, apparently there are people out there who consider Grave Digger power metal for some reason. Well, Grave Digger may have been playing power metal on the albums I haven't heard, but this one sure as shit ain't fucking power metal. Just because metal is fast and/or has something that resembles a melody doesn't automatically make it power metal, you hopeless fucking genre newbies. "Bone Collector" is way too coarse, dissonant, and aggressive to be anything but regular heavy metal at the lightest.
None of this is in any way very sophisticated, but in all its plain and straightforward metal attitude, this album is an unlikely perfect example that music shouldn't be described, but experienced, first and foremost.
But seriously, so far it's just fucking thrash metal. Sophomore cut "The Rich, The Poor, The Dying" just plain thrashes. As does "Kingdom of Skulls", featuring a constant barrage of sick metal riffing that could never be translated into any other genre. So far, this album is a constant bombardement af gasoline-incinerating drum rhythms and fills, and mean, dissonnant riffs and chord progressions. It's not original by any stretch; it's the sound of grown-ass men giving exactly 0% of their fucks about originality because they're way too busy rocking the Hell out. And you gotta love that "Money for nothing and death for free" lyric in the former. (If you don't get that reference, you're not listening to enough music.)
I deliberately used the phrase "so far" in the former paragraph. Because, like with most other metal albums – thrash, power, or whatever – "Bone Collector" does start to show some variation around this point. Midtempo heavy-rocker "The Devil's Serenade" could've been written by the band's other fine countrymen in Accept or Running Wild. (Perhaps not surprisingly since former RW bassist Jens Becker has been with Grave Digger for 26 years now, as it turns out.) And staying in the straight-up heavy metal department, "Killing is my Pleasure" features a main riff that sounds like another variation on those in songs like, say, "Power and the Glory", "2 Minutes to Midnight", and "Stand Up and Shout". (Also, if you can't name the artists behind all three of those, you are officially not a metalhead). But said riff – like the track itself – is so consequently intense in its demeanor that any listener who came to the right place here would be just as indifferent about originality as the band seems to be.
"Bone Collector" is not original by any stretch; it's the sound of grown-ass men giving exactly 0% of their fucks about originality because they're way too busy rocking the Hell out.
And the variation continues hand in hand with the shameless lack of originality in a hat trick of cuts named by the "[X] of [Y]" template: "Mirror of Hate", "Riders of Doom" and "Made of Madness", the two former ones being slow and heavy as fuck, but the latter being the album's fastest and most fiery intense track, featuring some wonderfully nasty harmonies (hahah, "power metal"). None of this is in any way very sophisticated, but in all its plain and straightforward metal attitude, this album is an unlikely perfect example that music shouldn't be described, but experienced, first and foremost. Because even with all the more or less music-theoretical and/or academical navel-gazing one might do, "Bone Collector" isn't written for people who spend their energy analyzing rather than rocking out. I'm starting to feel a little dumb sitting here taking review notes, as I normally do.
In spite of all of the above, towards the end of the whole thing, I am starting to miss some more dynamics than can be achieved by simply turning the pace up and down. Sharp and compact as the production is – and should be – the sound is monotonous in a quite literal sense of that word, whether the songs are fast or slow. And those vocals, loveably uncivil as they may be, get monotonous as well. Even though closer "Whispers of the Damned", possibly thought out as a semi-climactic sorta power ballad, does kinda stick, I've become a bit too disengaged to fully appreciate its function here.
With any criticism outta the way, though: The point of an album like this isn't to be interesting or even challenging or anything like that. Its raison d'etre is to rock the fuck out, and it does.
As I reward "Bone Collector" with a 5/6 rating, then, it is definitely not the year's biggest 5/6. But it may very well end up being the truest one.
Rating: 5 out of 6
Genre: Thrash metal / heavy metal
Release date: 17/1/2025
Label: Napalm Records
Producer: Chris Boltendahl