Gibraltar

2021-11-10

No metal – but lots and lots of rock!

So I finally went to Gibraltar after having lived in the south of Spain for almost 3.5 years. Is it worth the visit? Depends.

For those of you who've been living under a rock, Gibraltar is largely one of those. The people are friendly, and you can get tax-free whisky. But the one thing Gibraltar is known for is pretty much that big-ass slab of geology overlooking its 34,000-people town as well as northern Morocco across the strait.

No, not that one; the other big rock. By the way, that cloud kept hanging there all day, which, according to the locals, is a common phenomenon. According to me, it's annoying.
No, not that one; the other big rock. By the way, that cloud kept hanging there all day, which, according to the locals, is a common phenomenon. According to me, it's annoying.
You enter by crossing the airport runway. 4-6 times per day, when there's a landing or take-off, all traffic stops, and the queues can go on for miles. Yeah, not inconvenient at all.
You enter by crossing the airport runway. 4-6 times per day, when there's a landing or take-off, all traffic stops, and the queues can go on for miles. Yeah, not inconvenient at all.

I was there to attend a book release for a former client, but of course, I had to go up that mother and see what all the fuzz was about. So I did.

As it turns out, apart from the view, the Rock of Gibraltar has two things going for it: Macaque monkeys, and a limestone cave from the Jurassic period.

First things first: Here's the view. Fucking cloud.
First things first: Here's the view. Fucking cloud.

The monkeys live freely, but they pretty much mind their own business – although they have been known to snatch lunch packs, smartphones, and hats if you get too close. And hey, look at it this way: They're an endangered species, and they can rip your face clean off. I mean, if it were me, I'd totally do the same thing.

Not pictured: Someone who gives a shit.
Not pictured: Someone who gives a shit.
Ditto. Rule of thumb: If someone walks around naked and eats straight off of the ground, don't mess with them.
Ditto. Rule of thumb: If someone walks around naked and eats straight off of the ground, don't mess with them.

The limestone cave isn't very big, but it's newly restored, so there's a neat little light show with some cool ambient music going on.

Looks like something out of a Gloryhammer album cover.
Looks like something out of a Gloryhammer album cover.
When they go all the way from top to bottom, are they called stalagmites, or stalagtites? Send your answer in an email to communications@wizzair.com. I've had it with their delays.
When they go all the way from top to bottom, are they called stalagmites, or stalagtites? Send your answer in an email to communications@wizzair.com. I've had it with their delays.

What else does Gibraltar have going for it? Well, like I said, the people are friendly, and the place is flowing with whisky. As for a regular metal scene, though, don't count on it. Apparently, they do have some pubs where bands CAN play live, but I'm guessing the most concert action you're gonna get in Gibraltar is when 40 people sit around and get tipsy at the annual Smokie tribute gig.

Casemates Square is the town center. Theoretically, you COULD fit a decent-sized live concert there, but has it ever been done? The answer may not surprise you.
Casemates Square is the town center. Theoretically, you COULD fit a decent-sized live concert there, but has it ever been done? The answer may not surprise you.

So... Worth a visit? A short one, yes. I was there for a day and a night, and that seems optimal. Any longer than a week, and I woulda started getting claustrophobic. Also, it's kinda expensive.

Oh yeah, Gibraltar was, of course, a strategic point during some war, so it's got big guns all over. Guess that's pretty metal.
Oh yeah, Gibraltar was, of course, a strategic point during some war, so it's got big guns all over. Guess that's pretty metal.
What missing letter could I possibly have in mind here? Send your answer in an email to communications@wizzair.com, etc.
What missing letter could I possibly have in mind here? Send your answer in an email to communications@wizzair.com, etc.
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