Epic Fest 2024 – pt. 1/2 (Brothers of Metal + Gloryhammer)

Bigger, colder, but somehow just as warm

You don't have to know yours truly very well to know that I have a big ol' soft spot for power metal. In fact, I kinda wear it on my sleeve – also sometimes in a bit of a literal sense. And quite frankly, I find it's a weird thing to have to justify. But yet here we are – in a place where the national metal agenda has, at least traditionally, been set by grunty, screamy, down-tuned bands like Hatesphere, Dawn of Demise, Illdisposed, and the like.

So, paraphrasing what I wrote in my coverage of the first Epic Fest in 2023, it's a wacky kinda blessing to all of a sudden have a power metal festival in Denmark of all countries.

The fact that the festival's second edition takes place in the middle of fucking January doesn't make things any less wacky. It's a demanding journey, traversing the snow-clad, barren wastelands to the Freedom Fortress (yeah, going into D&D mode here).

But that freedom ain't gonna fight for itself. And this year, the battle takes place at two venues, Gimle, like last year, but also the Roskilde Center of Congress and Gymnastics – not necessarily detracting anything from the wackiness factor.

Not detracting from said factor, either, is Swedish outfit Brothers of Metal, deliberately over-the-top and all-in on viking age outfits and battle make-up. Apart from the rhythm group, the band counts three guitarists and three vocalists – two guys and one girl. (No cup). And apart from their name, these guys have Manowar influences all over their lyrics. I didn't know the group beforehand, but from what I'm hearing tonight, they might as well have written their songs by asking ChatGPT to write lyrics about this-or-that topic from Norse mythology, but in the style of Joey DeMaio.

Absolutely none of the music sticks with me here. But I'm well entertained, as should be the purpose. A lot of the group's MO, it seems, consists as much in their on-stage escapades as in playing songs – and that's probably all for the better. And apart from inciting war cries from the crowd and swilling mead (or whatever's in those drinking horns), the group's lovely female vocalist also celebrates her graduation on stage tonight. I mean, shit, I can't even remember what I did at my own graduation, but I probably just went out for dinner with my ex.

Anyway, while I'm primarily here for music, I'm also here for extra-curricular antics like these. And all the band's complete and deliberate lack of originality aside, they're excellent performers. Even also musically. Heeey.

Rating: 4 out of 6

I have no idea why Gloryhammer are playing before Beast in Black. I thought they were supposed to be the headliners? Anyway, they brought a goddamn castle on stage, so that oughta make up for that misplaced time slot. And opener "Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost" from their latest LP expands on that whole over-the-top deal.

Nobody goes to a Gloryhammer show expecting any kind of subtlety. And any kind of subtlety is exactly what we're not getting. Instead, the loony Scotsmen and their Cypriot vocalist take us through colorful worlds of equal parts fantasy and sci-fi, involving zany characters and zanier storylines – so zany that I'm not even gonna try to detail them.

And we're in on it. During "The Land of Unicorns", a bunch of attendees whip out a bunch of hand-held inflatable unicorn heads and wave them around. And later on, there's a guy in a unicorn costume crowdsurfing. Yeah, unicorns are a thing with this band.

Song-wise, keyboardist and founding member Christopher Bowes – a.k.a. Dark Emperor Zargothrax – knows what he's doing. The idea behind Gloryhammer is pretty much what I've just outlined in the above paragraph, and they're not straying from that purpose for a second.

The best songs tonight, then, are arguably the band's titular hymn and "Angus McFife", the titular hymn of lead singer Sozos Michael's character. And the reason those are a bit better than the rest is that they're not as silly. Because if you hadn't drawn that conclusion yet, the whole thing is very, very silly.

That being said, I did look forward to hearing "Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol" from the newest album. And I think the audience kinda let that one down. But anyway, I eventually hit a silliness saturation point, so I leave during "Keeper of the Celestial Flame of Abernethy", missing out on closer "The Unicorn Invasion of Dundee", amongst others. But I've had my share.

I was impressed seeing Gloryhammer at Copenhell 2022. This time, I knew what to expect, and I'd seen it before. But still, you'd have to be one big living, breathing suckfest to go to a show like this and not feel entertained.

Rating: 4.5 out of 6

Upon this first evening, I have three points of criticism that are unrelated to the program:

1. The fact that the festival takes place in two venues means that between bands, people are going from one place to the other. This made for a huge line before Brothers of Metal, because all the people from Gimle coming to see that show coincided with everyone who came from work and hadn't gotten their wristband yet. So those of us who did get it still had to stand and wait in line. Because there's only that one entrance. It was only that one time, but still.
   
2. While I absolutely LOVE the fact that Epic Fest pt. 2 has sold three times as many tickets as last year, this also means that in principle, not everyone's gonna be able to fit into 550-person venue Gimle. I didn't notice anyone being rejected from Gimle because of max capacity, but, again, still.
3. That initially mentioned time of year and its horrible weather conditions. There's a good reason why I moved to Málaga in the first place. And having stayed here for around four weeks now, I can clearly feel how the darkness and cold are getting to me. I mean, if this had been a black metal festival, this time of year would totally make sense. But power metal to me feels more like the opposite.

However, what the season lacks, the attendees compensate. And then some. Even though I'm not getting as much time to socialize this year, every moment I spend with old and new friends is like a warm fire here in the cold night of winter.

Seriously, even though metal festivals are notoriously more friendly and peaceful than others, even Copenhell has seen a coupla brawls and thefts over the years. But at Epic Fest, nobody even argues. There's just friendship and enjoyment of a common bond that other metalheads hate because they've misunderstood the fundamentals, and that nobody apart from metalheads has no idea exists.

It's a funny thing with the power metal audience. Being a somewhat geeky subculture of metal, sharing a lot of elements with the worlds of role-playing, fantasy fetishism, and all-round geek culture, you will naturally find a higher... geekitude in a crowd like this. (And yes, that's a word now.) Some attendees are more or less socially awkward, and not necessarily very self-aware. But you'll also find those big-ass viking types. You know, those bearded, beer-bellied, battle-vested motherfuckers that you might as well see at a death metal show, and that outsiders leave alone on the bus even if they're taking up two seats. Just to be on the safe side.

And the point is, even for a metal festival crowd, everyone here is kind and endearing. From one extreme to the other. And it's a pleasure to be a part of this scene.

See you tomorrow!