DragonForce @ Jailbreak 2024
Goddammit, take yourselves seriously
There was a time when DragonForce pretty much single-handedly not only carried power metal into the 21st century, but also expanded the limits of the genre. Drastically, at that. Shit, even in all their goofy attitude of repurposing the same handful of hackneyed fantasy lyrics, they're still more extreme than several death metal bands. I used to defend DF to that horde of ignorant disbelievers whose sole judgment for when something gets too melodic for their own impoverishedly narrow-minded metal preference amounts to one homophobic slur.
But after today, I gotta take my entire relationship with the band up to reconsideration.
The indoor stage at Jailbreak is just a few square feet away from being too small to fit DF's onstage decorations AND the band itself. Considering how earlier today, former Accept vocalist Udo Dirkschneider played the big outside stage for a crowd way too scattered for a name in his league, this is poor planning, right here.
However, it does focus DF's audience, making for an explosion of a welcome as the band enters the stage with an equally blistering and heart-warming "Fury of the Storm". Sparks fly; dragons' eyes glow; huge arcade cabinets show gameplay from classics. Good times are had by all.
And with ever-irresistible fist-pumping freedom anthem "Cry Thunder" following up, and with a, on my part, long-awaited revisit of the tremendous "Soldiers of the Wasteland" mid-set, this could have been one of the better shows of the year.
But then, tragedy strikes.
In my review of the band's latest studio album, I made it quite clear that "Doomsday Party" is an annoyingly dumb song. So why DF choose to include that one in the set over, say, "Burning Heart" is anyone's guess. Maybe for musical variation. But then, why not play "The Kingdom of Steel" instead, what with it being probably the band's all-time most stand-out song and all??
But whatever. I've come to expect annoyingly dumb features at this point, so I go out for a cigarette.
… And as I come back, DF choose to up the idiocy and auto-mockery even more, playing their dumbass unnecessary cover of Céline Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". Goddammit, some of us are longingly wishing for "My Spirit Will Go On" here; this is almost adding insult to injury. And what definitely IS adding insult to injury, then, is that DF unapologetically follow that one up with their equally dumbass unnecessary cover of some, by necessity, overrated Taylor Swift song.
This is it: I have officially fucking had it. Fuck you.
There was a time when there was still some space left on my battle vest, and I thought about getting a DragonForce patch. Well, today I'm glad that I didn't.
"BUT OMG BRO CHILL BRO IT ALL SOUNDS THE SAME ANYWAY BRO OMG LOL BRO"
Shut the fuck up. That is not what this is about. DF has long shown themselves to have every imaginable means at their disposal for both taking themselves seriously AND writing and playing memorable original tunes AND kicking as much ass as any other metal band worth the attention they've been enjoying. – WITHOUT pandering to anyone, at that. But then, they throw away any and all credibility in favor of the cheapest points possible.
Even the predictable ending "Through the Fire and Flames" can't save things. That is, to be fair, I couldn't tell, because I've left in a rage.
There was a time when there was still some space left on my battle vest, and I thought about getting a DF patch. Well, today I'm glad that I didn't, because I would've ripped it off and thrown it out right here.
As awesome as those first DF albums were, I guess the band is perfectly comfortable pissing all over their entire career. Unless, of course, the purpose of their career has gone from innovative kickass power metal to ironic pandering to the lowest possible common denominator. Which would pretty much leave them with less artistic integrity than any reggaeton "artist". And if you know me, you will know that I could not possibly come up with a greater insult.
Well, if someone insults me, they'll risk getting one back. And that's exactly what's just happened here.
Rating: 2 out of 6
Genre: Sellout power metal
Venue: Jailbreak, indoor stage
Date: Fri., Aug. 16th, 2024
Setlist:
- Fury of the Storm
- Cry Thunder
- Power of the Triforce
- Soldiers of the Wasteland
- The Last Dragonborn
- Doomsday Party
- My Heart Will Go On (dumb and unnecessary Céline Dion cover)
- Wildest Dreams (equally dumb and unnecessary Taylor Swift cover)
- Through the Fire and Flames