Def Leppard w/ the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra – "Drastic Symphonies"

Rock 'n' Roll Shark-Jumping 101

When Metallica did the "S&M" shows and subsequent live album with the San Fransisco Symphony in '99, they were, like many times before and since, both going their own way and paving said way for their hard rock and metal peers and colleagues. Never mind that the result only had few songs of merit, the majority sounding like some idiot had randomly mixed a symphony orchestra onto a metal concert; at least the band was trying something.  And yes, I know Yngwie Malmsteen did the same thing the year before, but that was just a natural next step for him, and in retrospect, it went a bit unnoticed. And yes, I also know that Deep Purple did "Concerto for Group and Orchestra" in '69.

But "S&M" did start a certain wave. Because then The Scorpions did the same thing with "Moment of Glory" the following year. And Aerosmith in 2006. And in between, relatively extreme metal bands Cradle of Filth and Dimmu Borgir started working with orchestras, the latter performing on Wacken 2012 with the Czech National Symphonic Orchestra. Which also largely sounded like as random of a combination as Metallica's. And now, Def Leppard are doing it too.

"Drastic Symphonies", in its Wikipedia article, is referred to as a "remix album". Most of what you hear of the band here are the original tracks, but with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra's arrangements on top. And, well, sometimes it does work; sometimes, not so much. John Aizlewood of Classic Rock called the song selection "smart", and I'll agree – up to a certain point.

When one decisive criterion for success is that an original version doesn't get altered too much, exactly how much merit does this project have?

Sometimes, the things that work do so because they're nice revisits that we didn't know we wanted to hear, but we did. The overlooked "Paper Sun" is one of the best examples of the orchestral arrangements fitting the song without dominating too much. And the unlikely inclusion "Switch 625" works, partly because it's instrumental, partly because it has that cinematic vibe going for it that the band is going for with this album.

Then there are other nice revisits like the wonderful ballad "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad?" and the epically modulating classic "Gods of War", both being songs that would take a lot to mess up. However, the former, along with, say, "Hysteria", is an example of one bigger issue, namely that it works for the exact reason that they're not messing around with the original too much. This, then, raises the question of necessity: When one decisive criterion for success is that an original version doesn't get altered too much, exactly how much merit does this project have?

During the last 3 songs, I find myself starting to write messages and take care of practical shit. While album closer "Kings of the World", in all its Queen worship, might have worked, I've long stopped caring.

And while the latter, along with, say, "Animal", is a good example of a creative arrangement and remix, the originals, in all their grandiose, glamorous glory, remain superior to not only any attempt at refurbishing; they're simply superior to 99,999 out of 100,000 songs ever written. And at the risk of sounding like a cliché, there's this one thing we shouldn't attempt to do with something that just ain't fucking broken.

Another bigger problem is that "Drastic Symphonies", with 16 songs clocking in at +1h20m, is WAY too long. And while newer stuff like "Goodbye for Good This Time", from last year's largely unimpressive "Diamond Star Halos" album, actually does work, it's around this point that I start to get bored. And this is only around halfway. I have to listen to the record one half at a time with a bigger break in between, and yet, during the last 3 songs, I find myself starting to write messages and take care of practical shit. While album closer "Kings of the World", in all its Queen worship, might have worked, I've long stopped caring.

At the risk of sounding like a cliché, there's this one thing we shouldn't attempt to do with something that just ain't fucking broken.

"Drastic Symphonies" isn't a bad album. The only downright painful inclusion is "Pour Some Sugar on Me", which is not only turned into a duet with some singer-songwriter chick, but gets stripped down to an extra-syrupy, rom-com-sounding parody of itself that might have worked, had it not been for those infamously cheesy, stadium-sized lyrics in all their partly blatant sexual innuendo, partly random stream-of-consciousness thread. I'm still cringing at the time of writing, and I might not stop cringing for the next week or two here, guys. But of course they had to include it, because it's The Lep's biggest hit, and the entire idea came from the record company. I mean, of course the idea came from the record company.

Again, apart from that one abomination, not a bad album. But a largely unnecessary and way too drawn-out album. The only reason you'd ever claim to prefer these versions over the originals is if you were actively trying to convince yourself that The Lep haven't just jumped that proverbial shark – and/or that they didn't already do it decades ago.

Rating: 3 out of 6

Genre: Rock / hard rock, but with a bunch of string instruments and shit
Release date: 19/5/2023
Label: Bludgeon Riffola / Mercury
Producer: Nick Patrick + Ronan McHugh