Bucharest, Romania

Do you wanna get rocked...?

I've already said a few words about Bucharest, but as always, here's a proper post.

To be fair, everything else seems more or less cheap when you're from Denmark and Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich™ like me. And I do remember North Macedonia and especially Poland as cheaper than Romania, even though especially the latter is quite a while ago.

However, that doesn't make Romania and especially Bucharest any less of a great place to go and throw a bit of cash around in exchange for good food, nice beers, and just an all-round helluva good time. In fact, let it be known up front that this is one of the most wicked party places I've ever been to.

I lived for 6 days in the old town part of the city centre, which is where the action is. And I'm not using the word 'action' lightly here: The place is like an almost non-stop party zone.

Not only does Bucharest have cheap beer and drinks, but the heart of the old town's got loud music pumping almost 24/7. And it's got these very explicit neon signs advertising for certain kinds of night clubs and massage parlors with a kinda weird notion of the concept of massage. Even regular bars have dolled-up chicks dancing around wearing G-strings. I mean, being the capital of an Orthodox-Christian country, this place is like fucking Sodom and Gomorrah combined.

Of course, that aforementioned music's mostly the same crap cookie-cutter blip-blop and OOMPH! OOMPH! OOMPH! OOMPH! kinda stuff that you'll hear in any generic night club. Fortunately, though, Bucharest's also got its share of good downtown hard rock and metal bars.

First place I went to was Private Hell, which is the most central, and also the most extreme in terms of both music and volume. Totally kudos to Bucharest for having a bar in the middle of the centre, among all those other dumb night clubs, playing not only hella loud Sepultura, Fear Factory, Pantera, and the likes, but also stuff like Obituary and Bloodbath. Cheapest pint: Around €2.

Then there's Encore, which I prefer due to its more conversation-friendly volume level. They seem to usually start out with old-school stuff like Rush, Creedence, UFO, Fleetwood Mac, and the likes, and then moving on into gradually harder territory like Maiden, Ozzy, Machine Head, and Dimmu Borgir later on in the evening. Cheapest pint: Around €1.5.

Wicked Bar definitely has the widest variety of booze and music. One night, the guy who happened to tend the bar was mostly into doom, stoner, and goth, so he played a lot of Type O Negative, Sisters of Mercy, and other darker, slower stuff. (I made him put on Cathedral and Monster Magnet.) Another night, another bartender played things like Motörhead and Priest. Their prices are kinda up there, but they've got some solid fucking whisky, and even absinthe. Prepare to leave with good memories, and a distinct lack thereof. Cheapest pint: Around €2.

One place is kinda funny. Boogie Bar mostly plays blues and blues-based rock like B.B. King, Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Johnny Winter, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Creedence (again!), and so forth. But the interior's hella cool, and it's got two big courtyard areas where you'll meet cool people who are also into hard rock and metal. Cheapest pint: Around €1.5.

Last place I visited was 1974, also in the heart of the city. A cool, urban punk rock bar with an almost hip, grassroots-y vibe, they played mostly punk and classic rock. I ended up chatting with the bartender – who'll entertain you for hours with stories about what happens when you do way too many psychedelics – and going to Private Hell with him afterwards, and he did put on some Priest and Maiden before closing time. Cheapest pint: Around €1.5.

Speaking of which, one thing I have to mention at this point is that the locals are hella cool people. I know I've said that about probably every fucking place I've been to so far, but it seems particularly manifest in Bucharest. Not only are they surprisingly good at English; they're also generally open and easy to talk to. I was chatting with several locals within minutes as if I'd known them for years.

As for restaurants, there are a coupla places I've gotta mention:

First and foremost, Caru' Cu Bere is this huge place smack dab in the middle of everything. It's definitely posh-y – in fact, it's the kinda place that has a live jazz orchestra and a vocalist singing for people at their tables. But you can get a solid meal of yummy local food there for the equivalent of €12-€15, including a one liter mug of Urquell for the equivalent of €6. And most wicked of all: My entourage and I managed to spontaneously get a table for nine people there on a Saturday evening with no reservations. I mean, shit, I shoulda played the lottery that day.

Then there's the Arcade Café. If you're ever in Bucharest, you gotta try their pork ribs marinated in soy, honey, and dark beer. And in a completely different ballpark, at Coltea Kebab, you'll have what's likely going to be the best kebab in your life. The bread's big, warm, and fluffy, and it's perfectly loaded to the bursting point with lots of juicy meat, salad, pickles, cabbage, jalapeños and sour cream dressing.

One single complaint: Walking around downtown, it does get a bit annoying to get approached by pimps from those aforementioned stri--, I mean, massage parlors. At one point, I got so tired of this pim--, I mean, greeter, who kept pestering me to come in and have a free drink that I decided to just go for it, one free drink being better than zero free drinks, all else being equal.

The place had all these chicks dancing around in highly piquant underwear to this wimpy blip-blop music for some reason. So when the guy got me a J&B and said I could put on any music I wanted, I naturally cranked up Slayer's "Angel of Death". Not being the kind to controvert a potential client's preferences, those aforementioned scantily clad ladies suddenly pretended to get very excited about the sudden change of atmosphere, dancing around the room at their most frantic as I chucklingly sipped my scotch. When I'd had enough of that, I just said goodbye and left, the staff grabbing at me from behind like zombies.

... Let's try to make that a thing, people.

So, at the end of these posts, I tend to ask, often rhetorically, whether this-and-that place is worth a visit. This time around, there should be no doubt. This is one of the 5 most awesome cities I've ever visited, and you'd have to be the most hopelessly boring piece of shit if you could have anything less than a big, fat blast here. I know I did, and I'm totally coming back and doing it all over again.

Romania rocks!