Alice Cooper – "Road"
Coming to a town near you, and hopefully soon
If you have no idea who Alice Cooper is, I have no idea how and why you're reading this. Either way, I'm not gonna go into detail about "Ol' Black Eyes'" impressive career, spanning almost six decades. I obviously haven't followed along since the beginning; neither have I listened to every one of the man's albums, which, including the first seven with the Alice Cooper group, are now counting a staggering 29.
However, it's easy to assess that "Road", the newest one, is a back-to-basics kinda deal, often sounding not unlike his '70s releases. "Road" is a concept album about rock star life, touring, backstage shenanigans, playing live, and whatever else is part of that package. As such, The Coop's vocals and lyrics are loud front and center in the mix, and they're all good fun.
Opener and first single "I'm Alice" is exactly as self-aware as its title suggests, featuring such loveably autobiographical lines as, "I accept your adoration and I revel in your fear / But it's your imagination that has brought you here / So here's the revelation and let me make it clear / That I am your creation and now I disappear". Unless, again, you have no idea who Alice Cooper is, you can just imagine it as a set opener featuring one of his magic disappearing acts after that final line.
Let's be honest: For a singer, Alice Cooper can't really sing. But of course, the whole idea behind Alice Cooper was never to sound nice or anything.
This expression is largely representative of the album as a whole, and that's also the idea. Shit, even a title like "Road Rats Forever" is an obvious throwback to "Road Rats" from 1977's "Lace and Whiskey" LP. And as I hinted at, this also goes for the music, mostly being classic hard rock, sometimes even featuring piano, cowbell, tambourine, slide guitar, and whatnot. Hell, "Rules of the Road" kinda sounds like "La Grange" by ZZ Top. Third single "Welcome to the Show" has a more heavy tugboat feeling, but the chorus is pure stadium rock, and the mid-section even features fingerpicking, Angus Young style.
In fact, only a few songs are downright metal, mid-tempo fist-pumper "The Big Goodbye" probably being the heaviest song this time around, and "Dead Don't Dance" being a dragging, distorted shuffle that sounds like something that Down might have written. And second single "White Line Frankenstein" features an unmistakably jagged and hard-hitting robotic riff from none other than Tom Morello. Gotta hand that one to the Coop, both self-proclaimed indifferent about politics, at the same time somehow famously republican, and also agitating against mixing politics and music.
But I digress. A couple of stand-outs that I have to mention are the closers. Even though cover songs are largely unimportant inconveniences on a studio album of original tunes, that all-concluding cover of The Who's "Magic Bus" is actually a respectful, classy version that's neither too pumped-up nor cartoonish, and given the overarching lyrical theme, it's too obvious to not include. Before that, "100 More Miles" features a powerful alternation between a desolate, Burtonesque verse and a grand chorus with tense intervals and bass lines, collectively making for the album's best song, for the reason that it's a much more solemn effort than the rest.
While "Road" doesn't reinvent anything, it's a nice addition to an impressive back catalog. But first and foremost, and like any other new release, it's a rationale for getting back out onto that road. And that's where we want the Coop.
And before that, "Baby Please Don't Go" (yes, he just cold snatched that title) is an acoustic pop song, seemingly about once again leaving your loved one behind to go out on that so often-mentioned road. This is where Cooper's vocals show themselves as both the strength and the weakness of the whole thing. Because, again, unless you have no idea who the man is, you'll know that, let's be honest, for a singer, he can't really sing.
Of course, the whole idea behind Alice Cooper was never to sound nice or anything. Hell, it would be weird if the Coop possessed the vocal faculties of a Jim Morrison, say. But the man has his limitations, is what I'm saying. And hence, the whole thing has its limitations.
But shit, Cooper turned 75 this year. And lately, he stated in the press that, unlike his colleagues who are retiring left and right, he'll still be hitting that road when he's 90 if circumstances so allow. And that's exactly the point. Because, while "Road" doesn't reinvent anything, it's a nice addition to an impressive back catalog. But first and foremost, and like any other new release, it's a rationale for getting back out onto that road.
And that's where we want the Coop. Because, again, if you SERIOUSLY have no idea who Alice Cooper is, the man is one of the original shock-rockers and an institution in hard rock; he puts on one of the greatest live acts I've ever seen, and we should be grateful he's still around. And all that is more than enough justification for putting out studio albums like this one, that are enjoyable and flawless in and by themselves, but not necessarily downright impressive.
Less does it.
Rating: 4 out of 6
Genre: Hard rock / heavy metal
Release date: 25/8/2023
Label: earMUSIC
Producer: Bob Ezrin