Rockin' around the Christmas tree

You know it's gonna be good when they put a swan on the cover

... And one fine ascension it is

And in the category of "Most Difficult Album to Have Sex to"...

It's official: The breakdown is the bass drop of metal

Half album review, half lamentation of music's current state

Giants and monsters and pumpkins, oh my!

Rumor has it, they were gonna call it "Whitesnake"

Children and other newbies will not understand this

Bring on the new age of blasphemy

"... And the Lifetime Achievement Award for Most Spot-on Album Title goes to..."

Where's Frank Zappa when we need his opinion on death metal?

I'll take "Overlooked Metal Bands" for 1000, Alex.

SPOILER: It's... another Volbeat album

"Unless you're a complete fucking poser who wouldn't know real metal if it gave you lead poisoning..."

"No matter what music you've heard so far, you've not heard anything like this"

"Dammit, Jonas. Go get a guitar, three chords, and a depression."

Yes, he totally went there. Heh-heh, "went".

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Heavy is the sound that bangs the head.

As I said concluding my Top 10 album list for 2024, there'd be a charity section on GMB this year. Seeing as how I'm a man of my word and all, I've finally managed to put it up. More charities will be added as I learn about them. And if there's one that's especially important to you, feel free to drop me a line and a link at ...

A lot of words for an occasion where words are futile

Half album review, half essay about those four chords that made a million

Want some more cream and sugar in your metal, Mr. Flynn?

During the review of which, we discuss the phenomenon of opportune catchiness level